Loading...Been getting a great deal of alone time recently? Yes, I agree. Even though I’m a full-time porn reviewer, I’m used to watching anal orgies alone at home, but the coronavirus has changed everything. Actually, this is the longest period of time without being kicked out of Starbucks because I jerked off. Anyway, I’m sure you’re looking for something to make those alone days better, right? This morning, I tried to find a new way to spice up my hourly fap routine by browsing Lelo.
Since 2003, Lelo.com has been selling high-end, high-class sex toys. I can see you right fucking now those poop holes who sold me the modest, cracked silicone butthole with barbed edges don’t have that sort of record backing them up. No, these fine vibrators and cock massager manufacturers are attracting over 20,000 visitors per day! Some might be window shopping, however others helping will help them through isolation. I’m ready to blow it on a new machine that strokes my cock while I wait for my stimulus check.
Gentlemen’s and Ladies‘ Genital Massagers Before we continue, I won’t rant at you: most Lelo sex toys (around 66%) are planned considering ladies. Anyone who has ever visited a pornographic store, watched pornographic movies, or used the Internet should already be aware of this. The organization has consistently accomplished in vibrators, which are generally the solo-sexual space of the more attractive sex.
All things considered, the store conveys sex toys for men, ladies and couples. It’s anything but a snatch pack of brands like you’ll find on some internet based sex shops, yet Lelo’s own, grant winning toy plans. Also, condoms and sex accessories can be found in separate aisles so you don’t have to push a dry metal phallus up your buttocks.
The site shouts class from the second I land. Rather than a pornstar with gigantic phony containers shaking around a floppy elastic ding-dong at the highest point of the page, there’s a youthful 18+ model in her underwear presenting next to a photograph of an eggplant-hued sex toy that even seems to be the light vegetable. Truly, assuming that I saw the thing wrong, I could not have possibly gotten it’s something you use to jerk off.
The Sona 2 Cruise, a new gadget for women, is an eggplant toy that was promoted under the slogan „Clitorally Mindblowing.“ I appreciate the wordplay as a man who writes with one free hand for a living. Ladies will see the value in its enormous surface region, extensive variety of sonic powers, and a component that makes it buzz harder as you push harder. It goes for around $120, and that is the deal cost. I told you that Lelo.com was expensive.
You don’t have to pay for shipping, at least. Isn’t that the least they could do? Yet, stand by, there’s something else! They’re running the #StaySafe campaign to keep you happy and at home and, let’s face it, get some business for themselves. That’s fine, especially when the campaign includes free sex toys with a large enough order. You must burn through $169, yet it procures you a Picobong Remoji application controlled toy. I wish I could tell you that Remoji is a Bluetooth-enabled buzzing butt plug instead of a vibrating cock ring or dick harness with an integrated waterpipe.
These Sex Toys Have Won Awards While scrolling down the front page of Lelo.com, it’s hard not to notice that these aren’t your typical fake dicks from that dank, dimly lit shop off the highway with gloryholes in the back. They’ve all got a science fiction stylish, all spotless silicone and glossy metal. Some have the standard shape of a pseudo-penis; others are molded like rings or some sort of advanced bunny toy.
It’s sufficiently simple to configuration some cool-looking poop, however these can get you off, as well, and hard! Lelo has won different honors for their sex toys. They won the iF Design Award for Product Design, the Best Luxury Toy Range Adultex Award, and the XBiz Award for Luxury Brand of the Year all in 2019. The brand was dubbed „the best thing in hi-tech intimacy“ by Women’s Health. They should have submitted one to PornDude Manor for approval, but I guess I’ll have to rely on these other sexperts. I wish they had.
A visit to the Best-Sellers page showcases some of the stimulating gadgets that have received so much praise from Lelo. Along with its predecessor, the Sona 2 Cruise that I mentioned is at the top of the list. They’re glad for their Soraya 2 bunny, their Ora 3 ring-molded vibrator, and the Gigi 2 with the exemplary nearly rooster shape. The Tor 2, „the best vibrating cock ring available,“ will be appreciated by guys. Their line of high-end Hex Condoms and the remote-controlled massagers for couples are extremely popular.
Then, what exactly is this? A can-formed thing considered the F1 Engineer’s Pack grabs my attention, seeming to be something they likely conveyed into space to stroke off in 2001: The Odyssey in Space I had to take a closer look because it was advertised as „The World’s First SDK-Enabled Male Pleasure Object.“
Super advanced Male Masturbation Gadgets
I was somewhat bullshitting toward the start when I said I planned to blow some cash on another sex toy, however presently I’m contemplating whether that whore escaped with my wallet. It’s costly, yet it seems to be a serious fucking redesign from my Fleshlights, my Tenga Flip Opening, and the sex robot I worked out of an inflatable pontoon and old Pringles can. My VR sex helmet looks like the perfect match for this, gods. The guts, which are visible through a portal on the side, are made of silicone and the body is made of textured black aluminum.
The F1S has double engines and different powers, very much like the female toys at Lelo. It additionally utilizes the very innovation that sends sonic waves profound into your dick, rather than simply the superficial vibrations of most different vibrators. This magical thing starts working as soon as it senses that you are inside, and it can keep giving you good feelings for two hours on a single charge.
Like other Lelo gadgets, you have some control over the F1S with an iOS or Android gadget. I thought the „Developer’s Kit“ was a half-functional beta version of the device when I saw it, but I’m already sold on the features they have now. The exclusive and free SDK lets app developers play around with all of the device’s sensors and buzzers to further customize the user experience. I absolutely require this thing. Because it costs $169, it is eligible for the free buzzing buttplug.
Brilliant Buttplugs for the Fanciest of Extravagant Chaps
Discussing buttplugs, they have a 24-karat gold one called Duke, likewise accessible in Hardened Steel in the event that you might want to save 1,000 bucks. I absolutely adore the LELO-emblazoned cufflinks that come with it. You can wear the entire set to your next executive gathering and individuals will simply believe you’re a tasteful mother lover without a hunk of gold pushed up your poop hole.
If you have enough money, you can also buy vibrators and golden anal beads. The Inez, which is advertised as „The World’s Most Exclusive Massager,“ costs at least $15,000. With Sezzle, you can break it down into four easy payments if that is too much for your budget. That amounts to only $3,750 every few weeks. That is within your means.
A large portion of the items at Lelo.com are not even close to that costly, yet the exorbitant costs are what the majority of you debases will despise most. Indeed, even the section level chicken rings go for $140, and those are the absolute least expensive toys the organization sells. However, this is not child abuse; these items were dependable, and worked to get you off actually ridiculously hard.
Lelo.com is the sex toy store for you if you have big pockets, enjoy masturbating, and appreciate the finer things in life. Their dick-massagers and clit-buzzers are classy as well as clean. The shop is worth a visit just to see what’s new in the world of cutting-edge sex toys, even if you don’t intend to buy anything to massage your privates with today. But be cautious. I went to the window shop, and now I’m looking for my wallet.
