Loading...I can’t get enough of being punished. I sometimes want to be tortured by porn rather than enjoy it. I believe pornography should twist me over its knee. I don’t always look for the most extreme degenerate content when that urge strikes. This man can only endure the torture of viewing non-nude porn.
Midgets, Coffee, and Tide Pod Smoking: I’ve seen every sin that can be committed by one person to another a thousand times. I have slung ropes at every activity I have ever participated in. I’ve witnessed four ballet-dancing midgets doing cartwheels with taxidermied crocodile jaws stuck in their asses. What evidence does that support? I don’t know at all. When I’m stroking my manhood, I don’t ask questions.
I’ve seen eight Lebonese baristas yo-yoing while performing a live musical version of the Hulk Hogan sex tape. When one of the baristas misread the script and took a shit in the middle of the floor, everything fell apart. It is fortunate that the director anticipated this and brought several mop buckets.
I’ve witnessed the top of a hookah inserted into a woman’s vagina so that the public transportation union of a nearby town could smoke Tide pods through her birth canal. The fact that it wasn’t Tide pods was the issue. Radioactive waste was the item. Strangely, it appeared as though everyone was still in trouble. I believe it was simply the room’s energy.
Wide Open Anyone who isn’t me might be surprised at how far the vagina can stretch. The fact that it takes time to happen is crucial. Before you can insert something like the exhaust manifold of a 94′ Buick Regal, you have to stretch your vagina for years. Women use tapered rods for years to widen their vagina so that my dick fits. I never would have been able to insert my entire skull into a woman’s vulva if it weren’t for the dedication and hard work of these ladies. Despite the dim lighting, it was a very enlightening experience.
It might sound like a terrible idea to test self-defense and anti-riot equipment on one’s own genitalia, and it might be for the testers, but for the audience, it’s an epic experience. The expression on a cunt’s face when she squirts and when she is tased in the clit is not that different. A word of caution for those with strained orifices: Be careful when allowing others to shoot at you with non-lethal weapons. When you have to have surgery that takes six hours to remove four rubber bullets from your kidney, all the joy you felt at the time fades away.
Soviet block bitches are the best at radical sexual activities than any other whore. They belong to a different kind of slut. They are capable of provoking anything given that they have witnessed enough absurdity throughout their lives. Prepare your dick for the trenches if you’re about to fuck a cunt you met at the club and hear her singing the Moldavian national anthem as she changes into something cozier. It’s about to become real. You won’t believe what this jerk is going to do to you.
I once boned a slut who escaped the Chernobyl reactor following the meltdown, cut off part of the elephant’s foot, and turned it into a basic dildo. Every day, she used this radioactive dildo to get into her pussy and asshole. In the former Soviet states, everything serves multiple purposes.
The bitches gash was as durable and enduring as anything else in the world. She once blew glass inside it, which I saw. She wrapped my cell phone battery in an old pair of her pants a few weeks ago to charge it.
Her cervix will make your hand feel like it is stuck in an aquarium full of piranhas if you try to finger her pussy. Wearing a lead condom and one of those vests they give you before you get an X-ray is the only way you can take this girl to the pound town. Burgerthor Shartveganmeat is her name, in case you were wondering. If you want to find her, however, you should not use her name. Simply follow the scent of hydrochloric acid and iron-rich blood.
Your brain needs breaks every now and then when you’ve been exposed to this kind of extreme stimulus your entire life. It must restart. Otherwise, it will become insensitive to all smut variations. However, even though I’m resetting my brain, that doesn’t mean I want to stop watching porn. It only needs to be porn that does not feature amputees with albinism.
I head to Reddit’s „Sexy but Clothed“ page when I need a break. I can see everything my twisted little heart desires in underwear, swimwear, and handbags from this location. If you want to see these slobs naked, you’ll need some imagination—they’re just as sexy as any porn star.
Rules r/SexyButClothed is an awesome subreddit because of a few rules. First rule: There will be no porn, nudity, nips, or vaginas. While bare nips and diners are acceptable, see-through clothing is not. Also, yes Flashing is included.
Number two: You can’t cheat by only wearing socks, a scarf, or something else. Hats are not considered to be clothing. You are not clothed just because a piece of cotton was delicately balanced on your belly button. Towels, on the other hand, are not clothing. But bathrobes are useful.
Threerd rule: In the bathtub, no legs. First of all, it has been done, and men, unless we know you personally, get bored of it. Second, bubbles don’t fit like clothes. They provide a means of protecting the bathwater from heat loss. They’ll assume you’re naked and take it down if they can’t see any clothing.
Rule no. 4: There are no guys, and no one is under 18. On r/SexyButClothed, I am not attempting to observe anyone’s moose knuckle. It truly ruins the day.
Why I Cum Let’s talk about what makes a good post on r/SexyButClothed now that those fundamental guidelines are out of the way. I’ve always been a man with a big face. Since I adore a beautiful face, if the tits and ass aren’t showing, it’s the first thing I notice.
The majority of the women on r/SexyButClothed appear to be models. They are amazing. I can’t believe they are walking an Italian fashion runway instead of posting photos on a porn subreddit.
On the topic of fashion, a lot of the bitches on r/SexyButClothed are showcasing brand-new outfits. For instance, this chubby Sara just bought a new two-piece and will be traveling to the islands next week. However, Sara consulted the men on r/SexyButClothed to make sure it was sexy enough to get her some vacation dick. Everyone seems to agree that she will find vacation dick easily.
You can still touch yourself even though you can’t be naked. Posts of women rubbing their pussies through their pants are my favorite. I long to be their hand and transport there. If your pants are clearly wet, you get an extra point. Points increase if you cum. If I can see your hard nipple through your shirt, you get an extra point.
My Jimmies really get ruffled when I watch clips of solo ass spanking. I enjoy seeing how long the thighs and booty will jiggle after the first contact. If you include some camel toe, you get more points.
I’m an ordinary man. My upvote goes to any bitches wearing yoga clothes. I would not be able to survive in a temperate climate without yoga pants. I can get through the winter with yoga booties.
If you actually practice yoga, you get extra points. There isn’t a single straight man in the entire universe who doesn’t enjoy watching women stretch. If management didn’t kick me out for fucking cunts in the showers, I’d stay in the gym all day doing it.
On r/SexyButClothed, sundresses are also high on my list of favorites. Sundresses in the spring make up for the long winters when there was no skin to look at. For the old heart, nothing beats like a sundress, a fat ass, and a gust of wind. The clothing industry is whispering about sundresses. Is it actually there? Who can say?
It can’t all be hardcore midget shit considering how much porn I watch every day. Even the Porn Dude has to take it down a notch from time to time. I do this by posting on r/SexyButClothed.
On r/SexyButClothed, I don’t have much to complain about. r/SexyButClothed is for you if you like softcore porn and Reddit.
Like me, I know you guys watch too much hardcore porn. Give yourself a break and let the snobs on r/SexyButClothed make fun of you.
