Loading...As soon as I heard the name, I knew Upornia would be a good fit for me. Every time I heard anyone talk about a utopia, I had the same kind of thoughts for the rest of my life. Surely, in a perfect society, there would be a lot of sexual immorality, right? I’m sure it’s up for debate because it’s all hypothetical, but I know what I’d want in my ideal world, and I think you’re with me. Who can say? While this next site will provide us with something to strive for in the interim, it’s possible that humanity will eventually establish that ideal civilization.
Upornia.com is a free video streaming site with a lot of users. In point of fact, it is so well-liked that I feel like I am a little bit behind the times. They had about 70 million people stop by with their dicks out last month, which is almost as many people as me and this small smut review site I’m running. When you have plenty of lube, it’s never too late to join the crowd of horny masturbators. Let’s use these new toys as we see what’s on the menu here because the UPS man just dropped off a new barrel and a shipment of silicone buttholes.
A Glorious Vision of a Perfect Society Wikipedia claims that Plato was the first to propose the concept of a utopia. In his appropriately titled golden book, Utopia, nearly two thousand years later, Thomas More was another major proponent of this idealized society. Upornia was registered in 2014, making it a much more recent concept. That was barely a decade ago in actual years, but this is the internet that we’re talking about right now. Ten years have practically become an institution at this point. Heck, they’ve been around for long enough that your grandfather probably visited this site.
And is he anyone’s fault? The layout isn’t bad, but make sure that all of the content is spread out across the front page like so much batter. They have a fantastic selection of adult content that covers all bases, including classic blowjob extravaganzas, lesbian shower scenes, and ebony cheerleader orgies. Even on the front page, where ball-grabbing femdom, free-use glory hole scenarios, and BBWs getting their fill of more than just food are featured, there is naughtier material than that.
The people doing all that fucking and sucking aren’t just a bunch of ugly randos, either. Inside snapshots of landing, I was seeing a wide range of well known pornstars, rising celebrities and totally dazzling beginners. Before I knew it, I had seen MILFs like Alura Jenson and Cherie DeVille, BBW pornstars like Lila Lovely, fetish models like Ezada Sinn, and A-list video whores like Abella Danger, Angela White, and Riley Reid. I hadn’t even left the front page when I saw them. At PornDudeCasting, I’ve even met Sera Ryder, Alyx Star, Savannah Bond, and Anissa Kate, who I’ve given the talk and cock treatment to.
I have the impression that I am not alone, and I have a feeling that you will also spot some of your favorite babes. The Pornstar section of Upornia is well-organized and provides a picture menu of their roster that you probably wouldn’t be able to beat off on your own. However, there is no reason to settle for still photographs when there are so many free videos on the menu.
This Upornia is My Utopia Upornia.com is such a massive pornographic website that it was difficult for me to find my way down the stack. In an effort to locate the final page, I kept adjusting the URL. It has more than 22,000 pages, which is insane. There are currently over 1.3 million videos in the collection, assuming there are no repeats. Sincerely, while I’m still impressed, I’m a little skeptical and wonder if they’re manipulating the numbers in some way.
That might be a valid number considering how rapidly the library is expanding. Night and day, they are constantly adding new content to the pile. As I write this review, I have been periodically refreshing the front page, and each time I do so, there are a few nice new videos. They aren’t slacking, but I have no idea how exactly they are sourcing content.
I’m happy with payites when I see at least one update every week. With as much traffic as Upornia, free tubes typically update much faster. Even just in terms of volume, these guys are still doing better than I would have expected for a free tube. However, the runtimes are just as impressive to me as the number of videos they are adding.
Upornia.com has runtimes that are longer than the typical free tube. It is not strictly a full-length video site because most of the videos uploaded today are significantly longer than ten minutes. They’ve added about a dozen movies with running times of 40 minutes or more even as I’m writing this review. This is a good place to settle in for a nice, long marathon fap because some of them last well over an hour. Do you remember the lubricant I mentioned in the beginning? You will require it!
Make sure to play around with the Duration menu on Upornia.com if you like long movies. Even if you set it to take no more than 40 minutes, you will still end up with such a vast selection that it will take you years to complete. They have a system that is beautiful and lets you combine multiple tags with the length you want, which helps you choose less. After checking the Anal and Cuckold boxes, I had three pages of results to wade through that were easier to handle. It looks like I know what I want to do this weekend!
For my official fap test of Upornia, I made my way back to the front page to see what had been added in the last few minutes. Fapping Away in My Perfect Upornia One of the most recent uploads was a 36-minute Evil Angel movie with the lovely Maddy May, whom I had really got to know on the PornDudeCasting couch. Since I’ve been dreaming about her ever since, it only made sense that as soon as I saw her in the thumbnail, I couldn’t wait to see her in action once more.
In the film’s opening moments, Maddy appears on screen and makes fuck-me faces at the camera while wearing a lovely dress with jewels. As she shows off her pierced nipples and then her ripe ass, some cheesy music plays in the background, making the viewer hard, drippy, and eager for more. I was so overcome with emotion by the time she was showing off the goods below and her meticulously groomed bush.
I sped up a little. Maddy is bobbing her head on a sophisticated gentleman’s cock just four minutes in. Until she turned around and started gargling on another one, reaching back to pull on dingdong number one, I didn’t even know this was a group scene. She is a valuable asset in any office or pornographic set because she can multitask effectively. The latter is my preference, and I believe you will, for obvious reasons.
The only thing I don’t like is that there is no way to change the resolution, which makes it look a little low in comparison to what I’m used to. Maddy is a beautiful woman, so I wish I could see her in perfect clarity as she goes to town on these two very lucky gentlemen. It doesn’t look like a Super Nintendo or anything, but it isn’t 4K. Although the video quality isn’t bad enough to turn off most viewers, I wouldn’t recommend the site if you’re watching on a big screen.
In the end, it’s a minor gripe, especially when we’re talking about such a vast selection of free pornographic movies. Upornia.com’s biggest draw is its extensive selection of full-length features, which, to be honest, are among the best draws a free tube can provide. I didn’t see a lot of spam when my adblocker was running, and those tiny banner ads won’t affect your fap session. This is a straightforward recommendation for cheapskates seeking a wide range of pornographic content.
